The glinting moon lights up his eyes so they look like silver drops. The sparkling stars beam across the sky as the clouds puff gently. The moon is painted with swirls of koru.
A tuft pops up like a light saber out of the shadow's head. His legs are like twigs when they limp along and his arms droop along in the air. He moves in the shadows silently and sadly.
Where is he going?
What is he looking for?
This is the writing blog of Team Endeavour - a group of 8 - 10 year olds at Springston School. The posts might not be perfect when they first go on the blog but with your comments and as we improve our editing - there should be a huge improvement.
Monday 4 March 2013
Meet the Shadow
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Phelix - you are the king of similes. How many can you find in this piece of writing?
ReplyDeleteI particularly like the picture you paint in my mind with saying his tuft is like a 'Light Saber'. Is it just the shape it reminds you of or are you telling me that it has a more frightening purpose? Can it be used as a torch or a weapon or some other purpose?
nice dcisshin pheilx I can rele picher in my head mabe rite more. from tor.
ReplyDeletePhelix,
ReplyDeleteWe like the way that you said 'a tuft pops up'. We don't know who 'he' is so can you write his name at the start?
From Maggie & Chloe Room 6
pheilx i like how you seed you were the simile king fromn George
ReplyDeleteI loved the way you described the shadow and his setting.
ReplyDeleteI think he is looking for something but he seems kind of sad.
Max thinks he is hunting for fish.
I like the way you exprest your self,I can really see it in my head ,
ReplyDeletemy sister thinks it makes her sleepy.
From Daniella